The New Colossus Poem By Emma Lazarus

Fear Narrative Feedback

Work Time

Share your revised narrative with your partner, and take some time to give editorial feedback for sentence variety.

Sentence Lengths

  • Choose one long paragraph and count the words in each sentence. If the number of words is the same or close to the same in consecutive sentences, consider combining or breaking up sentences to give variety.

Sentence Patterns

  • Use introductory adverb sentence starters such as “absolutely,” “anytime,” “evidently,” “frequently,” “generally,” “probably,” “surely,” “undoubtedly,” and “usually.”
  • If most of your sentences begin with the subject followed by the verb, try changing the word order. For example, the sentence “The huge dog bit me on the leg first, shaking his head to pull me down” could be rewritten “First, the huge dog . . .” or “Biting me first on the leg, the huge dog shook his head to pull me down.” Try different ways to rearrange the words to give your sentences a variety of patterns.

Variety and Specificity of Language

  • Use vivid color words (for example, “cauldron black”).
  • Try replacing indefinite, abstract words with concrete nouns.
  • Make whatever changes you want, and then proofread your narrative carefully and submit it before Lesson 18.
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